her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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