operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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