i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
you made out with another girl for some wings
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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