Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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