So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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