why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize