I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize