I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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