professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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