walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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