i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
