Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
