Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
