That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
