We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
