So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this boner is exhausting
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
