yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
