if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
