I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
