Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
