at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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