We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No subtext here. People are naked.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
