): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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