he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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