Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
