If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
