I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
