This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
