If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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