i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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