I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
