I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
