She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Houston, we have a squirter
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
