Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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