Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
