so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
