Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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