I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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