i was born a porn star she said
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
