It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I didn't notice because vodka
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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