My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
