Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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