Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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