i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
