nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
