SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
