You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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