Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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