I'm lost and stupid without you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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