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• (207): View more from Maine

  i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight

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• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.

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