I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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