He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
