Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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