whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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