I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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